Different people choose to follow different approaches to life. The route they follow can have consequences – both for themselves and other people.
Some people follow the joyful approach. They may aim to do things that give joy to themselves and other people.
Some people follow the judgemental approach. They may be judgemental towards other people. Some may be judgemental towards themselves.
Some people follow the joyful approach but are also good judges of situations. They focus on how to help themselves and others to thrive.
Different people follow these approaches in different ways. Let’s explore these themes.
The Joyful Approach
People love to experience a sense of joy. They often find this comes as an outcome of doing certain things, however, rather than making joy an end in itself. Different people achieve this feeling in different ways.
Looking at your own life, what are the things you do that may lead to feeling joyful? Here are some answers that people have given to this question.
The specific things I do that
may lead to a sense of joy are:
Giving to other people … Counting my blessings … Listening to music … Singing in a choir … Nurturing my garden … Cooking for other people … Being with our children … Caring for animals.
Doing stimulating projects at work … Making wood sculptures … Coaching athletes … Being a trusted advisor to my clients … Helping people to solve problems … Giving myself time to appreciate life.
Many people enjoy helping others to experience joy. They may do this as a parent, partner, friend, educator, chef, artist, performer, medic or in another role.
Some people focus on doing work they enjoy that brings joy to others. Some do it in the obvious roles when caring for people. Some do it in less obvious roles. Let’s look at one example.
Richard Sheridan leads Menlo Innovations, a software company in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The company aims to build an intentionally joyful culture. Richard has published several books about the work they do. Below are excerpts from the organisation’s website.
Some people believe it is important to spread joy. Some take another route. Let’s explore this approach.
The Judgemental Approach
Many people have strong views on how to live life. Some express these in a judgemental way. They believe their approach is the only way to live and are intolerant of people who are different.
Such people sometimes see themselves as superior to others. They may criticise, attack or aim to suppress those who think or behave differently. Some get a kick out of trying to make others feel small or afraid.
Some people have a different approach to being judgemental. They are judgemental towards themselves. Maybe because of their upbringing, they may have negative scripts. They keep criticising themselves or feel that whatever they do will never be good enough.
Such people may link their own self-esteem to how other people judge them. They may seek constant affirmation or aim to get accolades. Such responses may work for a while. But they then embark on another round of aiming to be judged as worthwhile in other people’s eyes.
The Being A Good Judge In
Certain Situations Approach
Some people follow the joyful approach but are also good judges in certain situations. They are often savvy. They have lots of life experience and take the following steps:
They continue to do things that help themselves and other people to experience joy;
They have the ability to read situations, recognise patterns and see the potential consequences;
They are good at making decisions that will enable themselves and other people to thrive.
Such people are good at reading reality. They may also have built a repertoire of tools they can apply in both personal and professional situations. They then aim to apply this knowledge to get the desired positive results.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Can you think of a specific activity where you may want to follow elements of the joyful or being a good judge in certain situations approach? How can you do this in your own way?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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