There are many ways to live life. Some people aim to follow the pleasure approach rather than the pain approach. They aim to do things that give pleasure to themselves or other people.
Such people are also have a certain attitude towards physical and psychological pain. They aim to recognise, manage and, when appropriate, make good use of the pain.
Different people follow this approach in different ways. Let’s explore how they may translate this into action.
The Pleasure Approach
Some people learn this approach early in life. They may have had parents who encouraged them to explore and do what they enjoyed – providing they didn’t hurt other people.
They may have had teachers who encouraged them to do inspiring projects. They may then have learned to follow certain principles, be persistent and do their best to get positive results.
Some individuals may have embarked on their working life by exploring several fields before following one that gave them positive energy. They may then have aimed to build on their strengths, do satisfying work and help other people to achieve success.
They may have learned from challenging experiences. They may then have developed the ability to make good decisions that aimed to produce positive results for themselves or other people.
Such individuals may focus on doing things that give short-term, medium-term or long-term pleasure. They may also be prepared to tackle difficult challenges, for example, that will produce longer-term benefits.
Such people may become more decisive as they get older. They may explore the following themes before spending time with people, embarking on a venture or going into a situation.
What is the specific thing I want to do? What is the situation I may go into? Will doing this give pleasure to myself or other people? Will it in any way painful? If so, what can I do to prevent, manage or even make good use of the pain?
Bearing these things in mind, what do I want to do? Do I want to embark on the venture or go into the situation. If so, how can I make it pleasurable and, if appropriate, minimise any pain?
Such people then aim to make the situation as positive as possible for themselves and other people. Other people may follow another approach in their lives or work. Let’s explore this theme.
The Pain Approach
Some people learn to adjust to this approach early in life. They may have grown-up in a troubled family that was beset by conflicts. They may still find it challenging to manage their parents.
They may not have learned how to build positive relationships or find win-win solutions to problems. This could have led to pain for both themselves and other people.
They may have chosen to throw themselves into work and do what is required to get a well-paid job. Some people may also be addicted to the philosophy of no ‘pain, no gain’.
Sometimes this takes the form of a Faustian pact. They may work long hours in a well-paid soul-destroying job in a toxic culture. They hope that one day they will be rich enough to retire and regain their soul.
They may develop negative addictions to numb the pain. They may drink, become resentful or blame others for their situation. This can have negative consequences for themselves or other people.
Some people may get to a point, however, where the look ahead and recognise the potential physical or psychological pain. They may then aim to prevent or manage the pain.
Some may also learn to make good use of the pain. Based on their own experience, they may choose to follow the pleasurable route and, as far as possible, minimise the pain.
They may also pass on their knowledge to help other people. They may work as counsellor, publish articles or create a website that enables other people to prevent or manage painful situations.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of a specific situation where you may want to follow elements of the pleasure approach? If appropriate, how can you prevent or manage any pain?
You may enjoy encouraging people, cooking, walking and doing other things that give you positive energy. You may enjoy doing satisfying work and helping other people to achieve success.
How can you keep doing these things in your life and work? How can you add more activities that may give pleasure to yourself or other people? What may be the benefits of taking these steps?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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