There are many ways to live and work. Some people who are driven go through the stages of striving, surviving and then thriving. Let’s explore these stages.
Striving
Some people grow up with a strong desire to strive for certain things. Some do this in a way that helps themselves and other people. Some do it in way that can have an adverse effect.
Many people aim to do their best in life. Some strive to get the basic materials for life – food, shelter and money. Some strive to become the best they can be. Some strive to be the best in a particular field.
Different people aim to achieve different things and do this in different ways. The ways they behave can produce different consequences. Let’s explore these themes.
The What – The specific things
that people may strive to achieve
Some people strive to get enough money to pay the bills. Some strive to be the best they can be. Some strive to compete with others and be the best in their field.
Some people strive climb the corporate ladder, get promotion and get more money. Some strive to be the centre of attention and get constant adulation. Some strive to achieve power.
Some may strive to follow a sense of purpose. Some strive to follow a spiritual faith, their moral compass or their principles. Some aim to do their best during their time on the planet.
The How – The specific ways that
people may strive to achieve these things
Some people strive to achieve things in healthy way. They may aim to encourage both themselves and other people on the way to achieving their aims. They aim to find win-win solutions to challenges.
Some people may strive to achieve things in a less healthy way. They may hurt themselves or exploit other people on the way to achieving their aims. They aim to make sure that they win and that other people lose.
The Consequences – The specific consequences
that this may have for themselves and other people
Some people strive in ways that have positive consequences. They keep themselves healthy and help other people. They may do satisfying work, keep developing and achieve success.
Some strive in ways that have potentially negative consequences. They may hurt themselves or other people. They may achieve some of their goals but, in the process, create collateral damage.
Some people may strive to achieve things in a less healthy way. They may hurt themselves or exploit other people on the way to achieving their aims. They aim to make sure that they win and that other people lose.
People who are driven continue to strive to achieve their aims. They may also experience the following stage. Let’s explore this theme.
Surviving
Some people manage to get enough money to survive. They manage to live from month and month, pay the bills and keep themselves in reasonable health.
Some people who strive may get promotion and, in the process, get more money. Some may use their pay rise to start saving. But others may take another route.
Some people who get more money use it to increase their debt. They get a bigger house and take on a bigger mortgage. They may also splash out on material goods or pay expensive private school fees for their children.
Such people may appear to have an admirable lifestyle but may be paying a heavy price. One senior leader expressed this in the following way.
“This sounds like classic First World problems but I am feeling exhausted. I worked hard to become part of the C-Suite but it is not all it is cracked up to be.
“I am putting in twelve hour days, much of which are consumed by meetings. The money and share options are good but I am not playing to my strengths.
“My company has reverted to us being back in the office five days a week. This means a three hour commute each day and has wrecked the balance my wife and I had in the year following Covid.
“Looking ahead, in two years I qualify for more share options. This is attractive. But I am not sure if I want to then continue for a further three years before I can cash them in.
“It sounds crazy but, because of our commitments to the house and school fees, we need a massive amount of money to simply maintain our status. We are wondering if there may be other ways to have a good quality of life.”
Such challenges may seem a luxury but they can arise when people take on more debt, work long days or neglect their health. They may eventually find themselves in survival mode.
Some companies may make similar mistakes. They may be doing reasonably well but decide to expand. They may hire more staff but fail to recruit properly.
Some may forget to build on their strengths or fail to express these in ways that work in an evolving market. They may find themselves left behind and beaten by niche competitors.
Some companies may expand into other areas or acquire more businesses. Sometimes this works but other times it may be costly and fail to deliver the anticipated rewards.
Different people respond in different ways to being in survival mode. Some aim to move on to the next stage.
Thriving
There are many definitions for what it means to thrive. Some people see it as continuing to be healthy, happy and happy. Some see it as scoring highly in terms of their wellbeing, work and wealth.
Some see it as continuing to feel in control, being creative and continuing to develop. Some see it as scoring highly in terms of their physical, psychological and philosophical health.
Some see it as having a sense of purpose, following their principles and achieving success. Some see it as maintaining rewarding relationships and doing their best during their time on the planet.
Martin Seligman has written many books about this topic. These include Learned Optimism and Authentic Happiness. He now refers to this state of wellbeing as Flourishing.
Martin has also produced a model called PERMA that outlines the steps people can take towards experiencing this feeling. The A Meaning Of Life website has summarised these findings. Here is an excerpt from its summary.
Some people reach a point in their lives where they decide to take active steps towards thriving (or flourishing). Some do this in a proactive way, some do it after experiencing a critical event. Sitting in a traffic jam one day, a person may say:
“I am successful but I am not happy. What can I do about it?”
Failing to see an immediate answer, they may numb themselves and work to gain another promotion. One day another wake-up call arrives. They hear about a school friend who has died.
Reflecting on the shock, they embark on the existential journey travelled by many people. They explore what they want to do in the rest of their life.
A savvy person may stay in their job but also begin pursuing a parallel strategy. They explore how they can do satisfying work and get a reasonable salary. They may also want to enjoy a better quality of life.
They become more selective to be effective. Realising they have only so much energy, they are more careful about the work they commit themselves to doing.
They do their due diligence before taking on new jobs. They also make clear contracts with their stakeholders to make sure they get the support needed to deliver success.
Such people organise their weeks so they can do deep work. They may organise their time in blocks, for example, and make sure there are few distractions. They can then immerse themselves fully in a piece of work.
Some may build in more time to develop. They may return to a former passion – such as playing music, walking, climbing mountains or doing another activity.
Some focus on their life goals. They may aim to build positive relationships and make a positive contribution to the planet. They may also aim to encourage others and create positive memories for life.
Cal Newport highlights some of these themes in his book Slow Productivity. He describes how some people build a brilliant body of work rather than be consumed by busyness.
They can focus on their longer-term goals, do fine work and maintain their wellbeing. They can do this by focusing on the following steps. Taking this approach can also lead to passing on a positive legacy.
Some organisations can also thrive by being selective to be effective. They can choose to refocus on their strengths. They can then follow strategies that work, do superb work and do their best to achieve their picture of success.
There are many ways to live life. Some people go through the stages of striving, surviving and then thriving. They aim to develop a good quality of life for themselves and other people.
Let’s return to your own life. Imagine there may be an area of your life where you would like to expereince a feeling of thriving. How could you do this in your own way? What may happen as a result of taking these steps?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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