Some people are good at setting a positive tone in their daily lives and work. They may do this as a person, parent, partner, friend, colleague, leader or in another role.
Such people often start by creating a positive atmosphere in which people can grow. When appropriate, they help people to focus on achieving positive goals.
They also focus on positive solutions. When doing this, they recognise the importance of language. They use words like challenges rather than problems and encourage people to shape a positive future.
Some people do the opposite. They set a negative tone by the way they behave, the language they use and the atmosphere they create. This does not help people to grow.
Such people may defend their behaviour by saying they are telling the truth. They are actually telling their own view of the truth and this can be influenced by their own biases.
Imagine that you want to follow the positive tone approach in your own way. This can involve focusing on the following themes.
Positive Atmosphere
People who set a positive tone often start by creating a positive atmosphere. They aim to create an encouraging environment in which people can grow.
Different people do this in different ways. Positive leaders, for example, sometimes take the following steps.
People who take this approach often have a positive attitude to life. They build on what they can control in situations, see possibilities and look for solutions to potential challenges.
Such people are warm, welcoming and create an atmosphere in which people feel able to be themselves. Whilst being encouraging, they expect people to behave in a responsible way.
They also recognise the power of language. They realise that the kinds of words they use can affect people’s feelings. Bearing this in mind, they may take the following steps.
They use positive language that encourages people to build on their strengths and assets when working towards specific goals.
They use matter of fact language when describing the potential challenges and the possible ways forward.
They try to avoid using negative or emotive language that may spread fear or make people feel helpless.
Imagine that you want to follow elements of this approach in a certain situation. This could be in your personal or professional life. How can you help to create a positive atmosphere?
Imagine that you have done this in your own way. Let’s explore the next step taken by people who create a positive tone.
Positive Goals
People who set a positive tone often look to the future and set positive goals. Some may do this in their own lives. Some may do it when working as managers, coaches or leaders.
Such people may acknowledge the present situation – especially during challenging times – but then focus on how to shape the future. This involves setting achievable aims and showing how people can reach these goals.
Good leaders, for example, often give their people the context and also explain the strategy for achieving success. They also try to bring these messages to life by giving examples that resonate with people.
Different leaders do this in different ways. Some focus on communicating the What, Why, How, Who and When. Gathering people together, they may say something along the following lines.
The Team’s Picture Of Success
Welcome today’s session. I am going to give an overview of what we aim to do in the next … and how we aim to do it. I will also give specific examples and the reasons for following certain strategies.
After the session I am happy to answer any questions and give any information you need. We will, of course, give you the support you need to be able to do your part in helping the achieve the goals.
Bearing this in mind, here is an introduction to our aims.
Positive Solutions
People who set a positive tone are often good at finding, as far as possible, positive solutions to challenges. They follow elements of the approach outlined by Al Siebert in his book The Survivor Personality.
Such individuals take responsibility when encountering challenges. They have an internal locus of control rather than an external locus of control. They say: ‘I can make things happen,’ rather than ‘Things happen to me.’
They also use their feelings in a positive way. If they have a setback or bad experience, they say: “How can I use this feeling or experience in a positive way? How can I use it to help other people?’
Al Siebert studied people who had survived and then sometimes thrived after encountering difficult challenges. Here is an overview of the characteristics he found in such people.
Individuals who aim to find solutions to challenges often take the following steps. They buy time to think and gather information. Bearing in mind what they can control in the situation, they explore the following themes.
What are the real results I want to achieve? What are the short, medium and long-term goals? What is the picture of success? What will be happening that will show I have achieved the picture of success?
What are the possible options going forward? What are the pluses and minuses of each option? What is the most attractive option? Are there any other potential creative solutions?
What is the option –or combination of options – I want to pursue? How can I translate this into action? How can I get some early successes? What else can I do to do my best to achieve the picture of success?
Some people follow this approach in their personal lives. Some follow it in their professional lives when working as leaders, medics, crisis managers and in other roles.
Different people use different models for finding solutions to challenges. Some people use the Three C approach which involves focusing on Clarity, Creativity and Concrete Results.
Clarity is crucial. It is vital to establish the What – the real results to achieve – before moving on to the How. This improves the chances of achieving the real goals.
Imagine you lead a team. The following pages describe the Three C approach. You will, of course, find positive solutions in your own way.
Good leaders who set a positive tone may sometimes need to communicate challenging news to people. Such leaders acknowledge the present situation and then outline the possible ways forward.
One leader took the following approach when explaining the route that they and the leadership team had chosen to take when tackling a challenging situation.
The leader began by meeting some people in one-to-one sessions. These were followed by a whole organisation meeting. Bearing in mind the implications for people, the leader covered the following topics.
They described the present situation and the need to make decisions about the future.
They described the possible options going forward together with the pluses and minuses of each option.
They described the option they had decided to pursue to, as far as possible, help the organisation to be successful in the future.
They described how they would aim to build on the pluses and minimise any potential minuses of this option.
They described how the organisation would provide support and – in a very practical way – help any people who may be affected by the changes.
Good leaders recognise that the final point is vital. Whilst they need to care for the organisation, some people may be affected on a personal or professional level. It is vital to be moral and, as far as possible, help them to shape a positive future.
Such leaders aim to encourage people, especially in challenging situations. They aim to give people practical hope and help them to work towards positive goals.
There are many ways to live life. Some people are good at setting a positive tone in their daily lives and work. They may do this as a person, parent, partner, friend, colleague, leader or in another role.
Such people often start by creating a positive atmosphere in which people can grow. When appropriate, they help people to focus on setting positive goals and achieving their picture of success.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of a situation where you may want to follow elements of this approach? How can you do this in your own way? What may happen as a result?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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