The Being Fully Present By Focusing On The Other Person Approach

There are many models for encouraging people to be fully present. Some of these require a lot of preparation and practice in order to be fully present in the moment.

There is another approach that can be used when meeting a person. This is to focus fully on the person when having a conversation, encouraging them or helping them to reach a goal.

This is an approach that can be adapted in other situations. Some people who go for a job interview, for example, try to sell themselves to the employer.

Another approach involve doing a lot of research about the employer’s aims. Then, during the interview, it involves focusing on how you want to help the employer to achieve success.

One key to being fully present is to make it about the person, not about you. This can remove any pressure of you. You are simply aiming to encourage the person or help people to reach a goal.

At the same time, however, you will expect the other person or group of people to behave in responsible way. Whilst you enjoy giving to people, you are not prepared to be a victim.

Imagine that you are in a professional role where a person has asked for your help. You will then aim: a) to clarify what they want to explore; b) to show you understand their aims; c) to use your knowledge to help them to achieve their goals.

Some people who are introverts follow elements of this approach. They enjoy working by themselves or sometimes with a small group of trusted people.

Some also recognise they need to earn a living. How to take this step? One approach is for them to go into role. Bearing in mind their strengths, they may work as a nurse, teacher, actor, scientist or in another role.

Going into role is relatively safe. They can focus on helping other people or working to achieve a task. They sometimes choose a role where:

They know the results to achieve … They know the rules to follow to achieve the results … They know the rewards – for both themselves and other people – of achieving the results.

Sometimes such people go into a state of flow. They submerge themselves in the situation and apply their strengths to achieve the picture of success.

There are many ways to be fully present. One approach is to focus on the other person. Sometimes it is can also be to focus fully on achieving a certain task.

Let’s return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of a situation where you may want to follow elements of the being fully present approach? How can you do this in your own way?

If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.