There are many ways to behave in potentially challenging situations. One approach is to flow rather than freeze. It is then to focus, do fine work, finish and, as a by-product, find fulfilment.
The flow approach is different from the well-known theory about people going into fight or flight mode. At the same time, being able to flow can be a good way of applying your fighting spirit.
Imagine you want to follow elements of this approach in your own way. This can involve focusing on the following themes.
Flow
Different people take this approach in different situations. They may be playing a sport, doing creative work, giving a speech, tackling a challenge or doing another activity.
Such people often make a conscious decision to take this approach. One person expressed this in the following way.
“My first step is to acknowledge my feeling about a situation. I may feel excited, concerned or have another feeling. It is important for me to recognise the reality of what I feel.
“My next step is to choose to channel the feeling by aiming to flow in the situation. I make friends with the feeling. Paradoxically, this has the effect of almost removing myself and looking down on the situation from above.
“The next step is to follow my own technique for being able to flow in the situation. This sometimes involves being able to relax, rehearse what I am going to do and then follow my chosen rhythm.”
Some people aim to flow in extremely challenging situations. One person did this when embarking on a programme of medical treatment. They chose:
To do things that gave them positive energy;
To encourage themselves each day;
To focus on the goal of prolonging their life.
The person knew what they wanted to do in their life – both in the present and in the possible future. They saw the treatment as a chance to do some of these things now rather than put them off to the future.
Focus
People like to have a sense of purpose. Many also recognise the old rule that ‘what you focus on you become’. Bearing in mind what they can control in a situation, some people take the following steps.
They focus on a positive goal. They may aim to encourage other people, perform superb work or do their best to achieve a compelling picture of success.
They focus on the benefits of achieving the goal. This can help them to stay motivated, even in the darkest hours. Focusing on the benefits – both for themselves and other people – can provide extra strength on the journey.
They clarify their action plan for achieving the goal. One approach is to clarify the key strategies they can follow to give themselves the greatest chance of success. They then translate this into a clear action plan.
Kate Sweeny, a psychologist, believes that going into a flow state can help people during challenging times. Her work was described Amanda Ripley in an article for the Washington Post.
Kate has researched how people manage their emotions during challenging events. They may be awaiting the results of a biopsy or be concerned about other difficulties.
The first step is for a person to focus on what they can control in and do their best in the situation. This can vital but there may also times when they need to relax. Here is how Amanda describes Kate’s suggestion.
Distract yourself and go into a state of flow
Get out of your head and into a state of flow, whether that means exercising, gardening, meditating, praying or painting.
“A lot of the battle is about making the time pass without being super miserable,” Sweeny says.
During the pandemic, people who were able to get into a state of flow seemed to be protected from many of the harms associated with isolation and quarantine.
Sometimes the best way to manage a risk you can’t control is to do something you can
This can provide a sense of purpose and also enable you to focus on things where you can achieve a sense of success.
Imagine that a person has begun to focus on something they want to do. They may then move onto the next stage.
Finding Fulfilment
A person can click into action and do their best to achieve their goals. This can lead to them – and sometimes also other people – having a sense of fulfilment. Some people do this by taking the following steps.
They aim to do fine work. They build on their strengths, follow strategies that work and focus on continuous improvement. They then aim to achieve the picture of success.
They aim to finish properly. Some do this by finding and following their successful pattern for finishing. They then aim to flow, focus and do their best to finish successfully.
They may, as a by-product, sometimes find fulfilment. Achieving their goals, they have a deep sense of satisfaction. They may also do work that enables other people to experience fulfilment.
There are many ways to behave in challenging situations. One approach is to flow rather than freeze. Sometimes you may find this can also be a positive way of channelling your fighting spirit successfully.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of a situation where you may want to follow elements of this approach? How can you do this in your own way?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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