The Reframing A Challenging Boss As An External Customer Approach

This is an approach that I have seen work in the short to medium term. It can help a professional person to manage their manager, do good work and retain their sanity.

Looking to the long term, however, there may be decisions to make if a person has a manager who continues to behave in a difficult way. For the moment, let’s explore how this approach can work in action.

Tom was a senior leader in a company. He enjoyed leading his team and working with customers. One issue he faced, however, was that his newly appointed boss could sometimes be challenging.

The new boss showed signs of being a micromanager and wanted to be kept informed about events on an almost daily basis. They also had a tendency to criticise rather than encourage.

How to manage such a situation? Talking with Tom, we explored the following idea.

“One approach is to reframe your boss as an external customer. It is to take the emotion out of the situation and ask yourself the following questions.

“How would I behave if they were an external customer? How would I approach my meetings with them? How would I behave in a professional way? How would I show that I understood their goals?

“How would I make clear contracts with them about the outcomes to be delivered? How would I get some early successes? How would I proactively keep them informed about the progress towards the goals?

“How would I take the emotion out of the situation? How would I simply focus on doing my best to help them to reach their goals? How would I retain my own sanity?”

Tom took this approach. It was a bit difficult at first because he had a strong emotional investment in the company and his own career. It could also be hard to manage a boss who behaved in challenging ways.

Several months later Tom reported that the approach had . Following the same principles he used with external customers, he aimed:

To show the new boss that he understood their aims and how he could help them to achieve these goals;

To make clear contracts about the outcomes to achieve and the specific ways the boss wanted to be kept informed;

To proactively keep in touch with the boss: a) to report the progress being made; b) to focus on the boss’s aims and challenges for the next few weeks; c) to deliver their part in helping them to achieve these aims.

Tom reframed the situation in a professional way. He kept asking himself: How would I behave if this was an external customer? He then did his best to deliver the goods.

The new boss began to settle down and, for the most part, backed off micromanaging Tom. This still called for keeping them proactively informed, however, and achieving the agreed outcomes.

Tom said that the professional relationship was much better. He had also managed to see things in perspective and maintain his own sanity. There might come a point, however, when he looked for another place to work.

Looking ahead, can you think of a situation where you may want to follow elements of this approach? How can you reframe a challenging boss or another person as an external customer? How can you behave towards them in a professional way and also retain your sanity?

If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.

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