Some people make the most of life after experiencing their equivalent of a reprieve. They may recover from an illness, be forgiven for a mistake, get a second chance or come through an existential challenge.
Near death experiences focus the mind, we are told. A reprieve experience may not be as dramatic but people may go through the following stages.
Relief
Imagine that you have had a health scare and are awaiting the results of a blood test. This can be an anxious time and many potential scenarios may go through your head. The blood test comes back and the doctor says:
“Everything is normal. You can get on with living your life.”
Looking back, can you think of a situation when you experienced some kind of reprieve? What did you learn from the experience? If appropriate, how did you try to apply these lessons in your life?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
Sometimes the relief can lead to a feeling of elation. This can then lead to the next stage.
Reflection
Vulnerability is a great teacher. Some people who enjoy a sense of relief may then reflect on what is important in life. They may do this by exploring the following questions.
“What have I learned from the experience? What have I learned about what is important in life? How can I focus on these things in the future?”
Kathleen Taylor highlighted some of these themes in her TEDxTampaBay talk Rethinking The Bucket List. She has spent more than 20 years working as a counsellor in hospices.
When asked about her work, she says she loves her job. Why? She enables people to tackle this final chapter. At the same time, she learns from them about what does and does not matter in life.
Kathleen says that, whilst there are many stages in our lives, three stand out.
When we are young we are fearless and set our course. When we are in mid-life we question and maybe readjust our course. When we are at the end of our life we find answers about our course.
Kathleen believes that we can learn from people who are living their last days. She says:
“I would like to hope it is never too soon to learn these lessons.”
Maybe we can take some of these steps earlier in our lives, says Kathleen. We can be who we truly are and aim to do our best in life. This can lead to the next stage.
Revitalisation
Some people who recognise their mortality see every day as a bonus. They may develop a sense of gratitude, appreciate life and help other people. They may also aim to pass on a positive legacy.
Some individuals do the Reverse Bucket List exercise. This invites them to describe the following things:
The specific things they are grateful for having been given in their life;
The specific things they have experienced and learned in their life;
The specific things they have given to people or have achieved in their life.
Such people sometimes feel revitalised. They feel motivated to build on the experiences, assets and the positive things they have in their life. They then aim to do their best during their time on the planet.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Whilst it is hard to predict the future, can you think of a specific situation where you may want to follow elements of the reprieve approach?
This could be a reprieve concerning yourself in your personal or professional life. It could also be a reprieve that concerns somebody else who you may want to support.
What can you do in such a situation? How can you reflect on what is important in life? How can you translate these thoughts into action? What may happen as a result of taking these steps?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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